i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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