Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
