So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
