i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
