I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
