I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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