also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize