you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
