Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the day after is always just damage control
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
