Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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