put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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