I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
