11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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