Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize