To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
