listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
