My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
