she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
