At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
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I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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