She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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