my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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