I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
