I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
