If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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