He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
