can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
