i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
