I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
