I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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