You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize