I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
