my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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