No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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