i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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