I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
