Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
