grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
