The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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