when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
