There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I had to cum in my sink.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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