How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
