I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
