where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize