Pappa wants mamma naked
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
