Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
literally had 100 drinks last night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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