just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
