I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
