im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
