Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Boobs speak an international language.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
