When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize