Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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