Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
