Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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