party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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