You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
