You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
