she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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