Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
