i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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