He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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