Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
