I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
